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Oh my god I hate being sick... It makes me do all kinds of stupid things... It's like I can't keep my word vomit down and it spews out, getting all over everything, then I have to go back and clean it up and I don't know if it'll be clean and stuff... Anywho, I wish I could make all my ailments disappear in like a flash of light or something... I don't get sick very often, but the times I do, it gets to be quite debilitating... Just like my financial situation and stuff... But it's because I decided to become and art student and love food and going out... And because of that I have to rely on everyone, especially the SO to cover my expenses and I always feel really guilty about it... And she already has so much other wants and needs, that i feel like the deadbeat that parents always warn their daughters about... And if she saw this, I know she'd talk me out of it, but idk, I feel a bit like I'd deserve it X/... I really love her, but she sacrifices so much for me that I feel like I should make it up to her somehow... Augh... I hate being sick... I think a lot more X/ ...
Sometimes it's too hard to keep going. It feels like the world is starting to crumble away and, maybe we start to feel like that polar bear, sitting on a solitary block of ice watching the rest of the polar bear family drift away across the killer whale infested waters. The world can be so big sometimes, and you feel like a little speck of dust on someone's countertop.
I've had this feeling for a while too. That feeling of drifting aimlessly, hoping to find that one island that you've been searching for because you're starting to get really seasick. And it feels like you'll never reach it. That single island with a little oasis on it, where the fish swim lazily and the coconuts are abundant.
But while I was out there, floating in the middle of the sun in a lazy current, I ran into a little bird. She sat there beside me, her feathers were all white and well groomed. I sat there on that floating chunk of land and asked her where she was going. She said that she was looking for a new start. She was wild, wanting to find someplace where no one had been yet. I asked her how it was going for her. I handed her a little bit of the cracker that I was nibbling on. She said that she had been a long way, traveling over fields of grain, high hills, long rivers, and wherever she would go, she always found people. And not just any people, people that didn't notice her.
She told me that she wanted to be remembered as a someone. Not just one of the crowd. I pet her head and told her that she wasn't just another little bird to me, but that she was the first bird I met in a long time. I told her how I had drifted away from home, leaving many people that I knew behind. I told her that her company helped me remember that I was not the only person that was here in this ocean.
She twittered out what I suspected was a laugh and perched upon my shoulder. She told me that she was starting to wonder the same thing. She did not know how many like her were still out there and she was depressed about being the only one. Little bird tears started to drip drop from her little bird eyes. I lightly wiled them away from her little bird eyes.
I told her that she shouldn't give up. There were other wild spirits like her out there. I told her about the other birds that I had before I was sent adrift. They were all similar to her, wild spirits, and I told her that I let them go. She asked me why I did that. I told her that it was because I believed that if they loved me as much as I them, they would come back.
She asked me if I would let her go free if she asked it. I told her that even though I wouldn't want her to, I would. I asked her if she wanted to leave. She shook her head and said that she enjoyed my company. She felt no need to search for somewhere else. That she had finally found what she was searching for. I smiled and looked with her to the horizon, still looking for that island a little less anxiously.
I've had this feeling for a while too. That feeling of drifting aimlessly, hoping to find that one island that you've been searching for because you're starting to get really seasick. And it feels like you'll never reach it. That single island with a little oasis on it, where the fish swim lazily and the coconuts are abundant.
But while I was out there, floating in the middle of the sun in a lazy current, I ran into a little bird. She sat there beside me, her feathers were all white and well groomed. I sat there on that floating chunk of land and asked her where she was going. She said that she was looking for a new start. She was wild, wanting to find someplace where no one had been yet. I asked her how it was going for her. I handed her a little bit of the cracker that I was nibbling on. She said that she had been a long way, traveling over fields of grain, high hills, long rivers, and wherever she would go, she always found people. And not just any people, people that didn't notice her.
She told me that she wanted to be remembered as a someone. Not just one of the crowd. I pet her head and told her that she wasn't just another little bird to me, but that she was the first bird I met in a long time. I told her how I had drifted away from home, leaving many people that I knew behind. I told her that her company helped me remember that I was not the only person that was here in this ocean.
She twittered out what I suspected was a laugh and perched upon my shoulder. She told me that she was starting to wonder the same thing. She did not know how many like her were still out there and she was depressed about being the only one. Little bird tears started to drip drop from her little bird eyes. I lightly wiled them away from her little bird eyes.
I told her that she shouldn't give up. There were other wild spirits like her out there. I told her about the other birds that I had before I was sent adrift. They were all similar to her, wild spirits, and I told her that I let them go. She asked me why I did that. I told her that it was because I believed that if they loved me as much as I them, they would come back.
She asked me if I would let her go free if she asked it. I told her that even though I wouldn't want her to, I would. I asked her if she wanted to leave. She shook her head and said that she enjoyed my company. She felt no need to search for somewhere else. That she had finally found what she was searching for. I smiled and looked with her to the horizon, still looking for that island a little less anxiously.
Hey sha~la~la Oh sha~la~la
Jul. 16th, 2012 01:50 amif you guys wanted to know what kind of person I am, this is just a little sample of one of the bands that I love
*looks through the little crack in the interweb door*
Oh, hi there everyone on Dreamwidth, this is Ichinii X3
I've seen this place and thought that I ought to set up in this little corner of the Interworlds X3
I've visited worlds like Facebook and Tumblr and DeviantArt, but I've never seen this before, and i think I like it ^_^
so, look forward to some interesting things here on Dreamwidth
よろしく ね～～,
Ichinii808
Oh, hi there everyone on Dreamwidth, this is Ichinii X3
I've seen this place and thought that I ought to set up in this little corner of the Interworlds X3
I've visited worlds like Facebook and Tumblr and DeviantArt, but I've never seen this before, and i think I like it ^_^
so, look forward to some interesting things here on Dreamwidth
よろしく ね～～,
Ichinii808
